Black FriYay

Reprimanded in Sephora for opening Glitter Pallets. 👊

Asked American Eagle support-staff, if they thought ‘these’ pants would fit my 14 year old son who just hit a giant growth spurt… (my daughter walked away & joined another family at that moment ) 👊

Smelled every candle in every single store and exclaimed “OMG that smells soo good!”👊

Reprimanded In parking lot, for being bad at parking.👊

#SuccessFulBlackFriyay.

3 Pronged Approach to a Kindgarten Telephone Call.

This is my Gown UP 3 point plan.. and maybe stolen quotes from kindergarten.

…With a…”secret telephone game” twist of mid life cynicism..

1) Never ever put your eggs in one basket. Unless you literally need to, because you only have one basket for the eggs and in that case..you NEED TO GET ANOTHER BASKET.

2) Don’t expect life to meet your expectations . You have to adjust accordingly. Unless someone puts mayo on your sandwich and you SPECIFICALLY asked them NOT TO PUT MAYO ON YOUR SANDWICH.

Then, AND only then can you…sigh and passive aggressively wipe the mayo of the sandwich, in front of the waitress/or and say “no no it’s fine. Sigh sigh sigh.sighsigh…I’ll survive ”

3) Comparison is the thief of joy (eleanor roosevelt I think..too lazy to Googleses.)

Seriously. STOP COMPARING YOIR LIFE TO WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA or MEDIA. Or in some life Changers podinarwebcast thingy.

It’s staged. Cropped.. photo shopped.edit.. You will NEVER know the truth..ever. (unless TMZ catches up with them and then it’s skeletons falling over each other trying to run out of that closet faster than someone who recently left the White House to publish a new “Tell-all”)

A picture is no longer worth any words because they are all LIES. (Ok I’m being a little on the nose with cynicism but I’m making a thinkpiece POINT!!! And to Thinkpiece Point is to be On The Nose)

In all SERIOUS NESS. How many times have you taken a beautiful picture of your family/loved ones/friends and then 5 seconds later it all goes to hell in a handbasket.**

THAT’S LIFE.

Hand-baskets and eggs with a sprinkling of hellish moments and you have to figure out how to deal with it ON YOUR TERMS.

Not how a “lifesprunged” lifer of living life told you to do it at the seminar you paid 2k to attend.

Not how your best friend told you to do it.

Not how your mom or dad or aunt or uncle or any family member told you.

And certainly not from a celebrity/influencer who claims to have it all figured out for you in whatver it is they are selling.

Maybe there is fantastic advice sprinkled in there with a tidbits of sensationalized life events.

Maybe there is wisdom you CAN’T get from anywhere else.

But at the end of the day. YOU are in the driver seat. It’s your car, your life ..and each choice you make is your decision.

If you make a mistake own it and move forward from growth.

If you succeeded, share it wisely and truthfully.

And if you are depressed by the constant barrage of seemingly endless life fixers selling you better life in the world. .Turn. That. Off. And look INWARD.

That’s my hall mark moment or the day.

** some of the “best” pictures of me or in my phone may have been at my lowest moments or in times or great pain.

My point is, when you “see” what you see on the interwebs or tele, you have to remember that you are no longer getting the full picture by choice because that doesn’t produce profit.

This is not necessarily good or evil or wrong or right.. It is simply a fact.

Therefore, next time you see a person and say to yourself. . “gosh I wish my body looked like that” I get it. I’ve said it. I also know I don’t really mean it. Maybe I think it now for a fleeting 5 seconds, but then I stop.

And I remember alll the work I’ve done on my busy brain. I take a deep breath. I rub my belly and gaze at my gracious teenagers who I’ve asked 7890 times to unload the dishes. “Omg ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?? WHY ARE THE DISHES STILL IN THE DISHWASHER AND WHY IS THEIR A CHOCOLATE MILK CONTAINER IN THE BATHROOM BEHIND THE QTIPS AND IF I HEAR ONE MORE COMPLAINT ABOUT THE LAGGY CANADIAN INTERNET….”

Wait what was I talking about.. oh yes gratitude for my “mummy tummy ” of 2 teens and gratitude that I’m no longer obsessed with “fixing ” about myself because it doesnt meet some impossible standard set by someone other than Myself.!

My point is..

stop. Thinking.

.things..could.

should. Be ..different

..and start celebrating what you have right now.